I’m Pregnant but That’s Not OK to Say!

March 4, 2016 50 Comments
Pregnant but That's Not OK to Say!

Why is it when you are pregnant people view you as public property? Strangers seem to think it’s OK to say whatever they think, and it’s NOT OK! When I was pregnant I actually felt self conscious about my rapidly changing body, and this was not helped by comments made by people who didn’t think before they spoke!

So I have been pregnant twice in my life, and yes I was huge by most peoples standards. However does being pregnant give people the right to make negative comments about my body? Or invade my personal space without invite? No it shouldn’t, but for some reason people think it’s fair game to say whatever they think when you’re pregnant.  These are a few things that were said to my during my two pregnancies by strangers or very loose acquaintances.

Pregnant Not OK to Say
I’m Pregnant but That’s Not OK to Say!

 

I’m Pregnant but That’s Not OK to Say!

  • Are you sure you’re not having twins? Yes I am sure, and so was the Doctor, midwife and 2 ultrasonographers, are you implying that I am larger than I should be?
  • How ARE you going to lose the weight after the baby is born? Do you think they are trying to tell me I’ve put on more than I should have? Do I go around asking people how they plan to loose weight, or how they plan to stop being utter imbeciles? NO, point made.
  • You are going to need some cream for those stretchmarks. I don’t know who trained her as a sales consultant, but to approach a pregnant women, invade her personal space and touch her bump, and then insult her! Well what a way to sell a product.
  • Your baby is going to be massive, ouch! Thanks for that, as a first time mum i’m not anxious at all about labour and child birth.
  • You wont make your due date. A complete stranger thinking it’s OK to imply that he thinks my baby will be premature, just because he thinks I’m too big for my dates.
  • Oh my god, you are enormous! Yes, someone actually said that to me. Well actually shouted it at me across a busy restaurant.  She was the bar maid of a pub I used to frequent. Needless to say I didn’t stay to chat.

 

Obviously I had some lovely comments too when I was pregnant, but isn’t it funny how the horrid ones just stick in our minds.  People really need to think before they speak, body shaming is unacceptable, pregnant or not!

You Baby Me Mummy

Mummascribbles

50 Comments

  • Phil Refuelled March 5, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Great list! One more:
    “Haven’t you had it yet…?”
    (Dumb question number 52.)
    Stock answer is:
    “Oh,yes. She’s at the minder’s. I’ve got bad post-baby wind, though.”

    • Kerry March 5, 2016 at 9:16 pm

      Ha ha, yes, I think I had that numerous times. People are so rude! Thanks for popping by xx

  • AmyLovestoSew March 5, 2016 at 4:38 pm

    So true so true! I had the odd ‘are you sure its not twins’ and ‘your baby is going to be really big’ and it was frustrating on a good day and incredibly upsetting on a bad day. We need a list of things that you should say to a pregnant lady ie. you’re looking well, pregnancy suits you etc – the world needs educating on this topic!!

    • Kerry March 5, 2016 at 9:20 pm

      Yes I agree, perhaps that should be the next blog, nice positive uplifting things you can say to not only pregnant people, but everyone! I was always taught that if you have nothing nice to say you shouldn’t say anything, if everyone did that what a happier place this world would be! Thanks for your comment xx

  • Single Mum Speaks March 5, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    To be honest, I didn’t mind people telling me I was huge as I found it quite funny. I’ve always been small so suddenly looking like I had a beachball attached to my front was quite entertaining. I know a lot of people who said random people touched their bumps when they were pregnant, but to be honest I think this only happened to me once, so I guess I was lucky! #thelist

  • The Speed Bump March 6, 2016 at 9:04 am

    I remember these comments and more! One I got all the time was “Was it planned?”. It wasn’t planned, and I suppose it’s a fair enough question as I was 19 and it was at a very inconvenient time, but still! It’s like people asking all about your sex life haha! Great post and I totally agree #KCACOLS

    • Kerry March 6, 2016 at 10:36 am

      Yes I didn’t include that one, and I got asked a few times. I think asking someone ‘was it planned?’ is quite personal, but again because you are pregnant people seem to have no boundaries! Thanks for popping by x

  • Emma March 6, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Oh this used to drive me insane and I used to get all of the above, all of the time with the “good luck pushing that one out-ouch!” Yes, thanks for that lovely comment, really reassuring-not! #KCACOLS

    • Kerry March 6, 2016 at 10:37 am

      I know, people really do need to think before they speak! Thanks for your comment x

  • Fi - Beauty Baby and Me March 6, 2016 at 10:51 am

    I totally get what you’re saying hun – you get so many unnecessary comments when you’re pregnant! I’m sure people mean no harm but them combined with your insane hormones can drive you a bit mental! xx

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Yes it can! x

  • Educating Roversi March 6, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    So true! I had a cleaner feel my bump at work – inappropriate! I also found i got sick of replying to the same questions so i try not to ask my pregnant friends the same ones! #KCACOLS

    • Kerry March 6, 2016 at 7:33 pm

      People can be so inappropriate! Thanks for stopping by x

  • Mrs Tubbs March 6, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    I wanted one of those don’t touch my bump badges! I really hated that. Brilliant post

    • Kerry March 6, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      Yes, I wanted one of those too! Just they weren’t about when I was pregnant x

  • Emma Jones March 6, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    I’m lucky & didn’t receive most of those comments. Taking about peoples stretch marks & weight loss after baby is wrong. I didn’t mind people saying I was big at the end it was just a reminder I was at the fimale hurdle. #kcacols lifeinthemumslane

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 2:59 pm

      It wasn’t the best sales technique I’ve had! x

  • Squirmy Popple March 7, 2016 at 9:36 am

    I agree – people feel like it’s okay to comment on a pregnant women’s body when it’s definitely not! I got a lot of comments on my ‘tidy bump’ – I know people meant it in a nice way, but I was worried that my baby was too small and I didn’t like people pointing it out. #KCACOLS

    • Kerry March 8, 2016 at 7:09 am

      Yes, whilst most of the comments I had was about how big I was, I had friends that were equally bombarded with comments relating to their smaller bumps that were as equally hurtful. X

  • Claire at Tin Box Traveller March 7, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    It’s terrible, but before I was pregnant I had no idea it was a bad thing to say these things. It all become very clear to me when it was me worrying about pushing out a baby elephant and trying to regain something like my original shape postpartum. Second time round I smiled and took it, then gave them evil looks when their backs were turned 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing with #KCACOLS and I hope you can link up again next week x

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 2:59 pm

      Thank you for hosting, and thanks for popping by! x

  • Laura March 7, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    I’m always shocked by comments I hear made to pregnant women, what’s wrong with people? Thanks for sharing 🙂 #kcacols

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:00 pm

      Who knows! x

  • Someone's Mum March 7, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    I had all of these! I was at the checkout at Morrisons last pregnancy (and I was only about 7 months gone) and the asssistant said “Ohhh should you be out on your own now with it so close?” I mean, really! #KCACOLS

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      That is very rude! I found it’s only in pregnancy though that complete strangers feel OK to be rude. Thanks for your comment x

  • Fern P March 8, 2016 at 8:39 am

    Oh yes, all the comments were the absolute worst part of being pregnant. And the comments got worse with each baby! When we announced number four was on the way everyone was SO RUDE. “Oh god, why didn’t you make your husband have a vasectomy?!” was probably the worst.
    After people got over the *shock* that we would dare to have a fourth child, all the comments on my size began. Someone asked if I was carrying triplets. I almost lost the plot!

    • Kerry March 8, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      I better not have a third then, not sure I could handle it! Thanks for popping by and your comment x

  • Babylists March 8, 2016 at 8:47 am

    I always hated the touching of the bump without permission as well. Why do people suddenly think they have the right to touch you when you’re pregnant? Great post #TwinklyTuesday

    • Kerry March 8, 2016 at 1:12 pm

      I know I have a real problem with people invading my personal space, especially when I was pregnant! Thanks for stopping by x

  • nina March 8, 2016 at 10:32 am

    When I was pregnant, although I was 25 I looked very young, a random man just came up to me and said, ‘who did that to you?’ What the hell! Plus, why are people so obsessed with how big you get. I don’t get it!

    • Kerry March 8, 2016 at 1:11 pm

      That’s so rude! When is it ever OK to be rude to people! Thanks for your comment x

  • Kelsie March 8, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    Ha! It is totally crazy that people would actually say these things to a pregnant woman. I’m not a momma, but these would totally frustrate me. I’m sorry you’re dealing with these things!

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:03 pm

      Thank you, and thanks for popping by x

  • Kirsty March 8, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    I don’t miss those comments. I was huge to be honest but it was okay when I said it, I didn’t need other people to comment on quite how big I was. A comment like you are glowing would be nice occasionally #twinklytuesday

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:03 pm

      Yes, don’t think I ever got that one!

  • Anna March 8, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    I hated this about both my pregnancies, I don’t know why people think it’s ok! No one ever comments on anything other than pregnancy either like ‘oh I like your hair like that’. X #twinklytuesday

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      Nope, definitely not for me, just how huge I was x

  • Life as Mum March 8, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    I remember those comments and I still get it now as I am pregnant with my third. Although I don’t mind people saying my bump is big but the other comments I don’t like.

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      But there is a definitely a polite way to say your bump has grown, or look at you blossoming. Never have I wanted someone to shout across a restaurant to me at how massive I am! Thanks for your comment x

  • Kiri March 8, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    Wow at the stretchmarks comment, some people have no tact!#TwinklyTuesday

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      Nope, or sales technique. x

  • Silly Mummy March 9, 2016 at 1:21 am

    Yes, those are really rude! I was extremely lucky (/hated) and I barely showed during both my pregnancies (my babies were small & I’m very tall so just got away with hiding it well). I was really grateful for that as I really hate awkward personal comments, random people touching me, or people making me feel like an invalid. I’m annoyed with people on your behalf! I can’t imagine why anyone would think size related comments are appropriate. #twinklytuesday

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      Thank you, just seems when your pregnant, big or small people like to comment on your size x

  • Sabrina @ The Mummy Stylist March 9, 2016 at 2:14 pm

    Oh no, thank god I never got any comments like that, otherwise I’d be crying! Some people are so thoughtless grr. Sabrina x
    #twinklytuesday

  • Laura @ Dot Makes 4 March 11, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    It’s like I wrote this list! I’m completely with you. I think it’s awful that people think that it’s okay to say things like this.
    Years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I was told that I should exercise more while pregnant, to give me a better chance of losing all the baby weight that I’d put on. ( I had put on 5 stone!)
    Some people can be so charming!
    Laura xx
    #KCACOLS

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:09 pm

      I was very conscious about the weight I had put on, and concerned how I was going to lose it afterwards, but I didn’t need anyone reminding me, especially people I didn’t know! Thanks for your comment x

  • Lisa (mummascribbles) March 12, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    So so true! I’m 13 weeks pregnant with the second and have now told work. I’m pretty big already and have had the twins question (although I was worried about it myself!). I don’t know why people think that they can say all of these things! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:10 pm

      I think sometimes people think they are being witty? But they are definately not, and its not even original any more. Thanks for stopping by x

  • A Moment with Franca March 12, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    This is really bad!! How can people say those things to you!! I never really experienced anything like that when I was pregnant and I’m glad I didn’t otherwise I would have exploded to them!! People should only say something if they have something nice to tell you. It is just bad manners. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I’m happy to have your for the first time. I hope that you like it. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

    • Kerry March 15, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for hosting x

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    About Me

    About Me

    Hi I'm Kerry, Wife to James, Step Mum to one, Mum to two and more fur, feather and winged babies than I can count. I have a passion for crafts, encouraging creativity and inspiring imagination especially in children. So if you are looking for some inspiration, ideas and resources to inject a little creativity into your family life, then you've come to the right place. Read More

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