I’m Not Your Baby Anymore

Today is Isla’s 5th birthday, my little baby, my first born, all grown up into a fully fledged little girl.  If i’m honest I feel quite emotional about it, i’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m a complete stress head at the moment and i’m emotional about everything. Or maybe it’s because I feel time is moving to fast, she is growing up to fast.  I love seeing her blossom into the amazing little girl that she is.  Maybe I just wish I could pause time, just for a while, to savor every moment.

I remember like it was yesterday coming home from the hospital. After a fairly traumatic time immediately following her birth (I’ll save that for another post), I came home a changed women. I was a mummy. For that I will be always be grateful. From the minute she was born, I felt love that I had never felt before, pure unconditional love.  The feeling was euphoric, and I was in my little mummy bubble, despite the exhaustion and hard work that ensued.

She amazed me everyday, and she still does.  They were so many moments that are so easy to forget as they get older. Her first smile, the first time she rolled, hearing her laugh for the first time, sitting up, weaning, her first steps, her first words.  I find myself reminiscing fondly of these moments tonight, as they are so fleeting when they happen, but so precious, and as important to me today as they where back then.

She has grown into a beautiful little girl.  She maintains her spirit, fiestiness (moodiness at times), independence and is a polite clever little girl that I am so immensely proud of.  I love watching her grow, she still amazes me, makes me laugh and warms my heart every day.

She started school in September, which was fairly traumatic and stressful to start with but she has truly come into her own.  She has grown so much since then, not only in height (and shoe size!) but in character.  Her confidence now is fantastic, and she is super happy and comfortable, and is excited in everything she does.

So this morning on her 5th birthday she came for her morning snuggle, like every morning, and I whispered to her ‘Happy Birthday baby girl’, she replied ‘I’m not your baby anymore Mummy’.  There, that moment, tugged on my heart.  She’s not my baby anymore.  However she is, and will always be, my little girl.  She has given me a gift I can’t thank her enough for, I am her mummy.

So Isla, darling, Princess whatever you wanted me to call you tonight, I love you with all my heart, soul and everything I’ve have. I can’t believe that you are 5 years old already, Happy Birthday baby girl

xxx