I’m Pregnant but That’s Not OK to Say!

Pregnant but That's Not OK to Say!

Why is it when you are pregnant people view you as public property? Strangers seem to think it’s OK to say whatever they think, and it’s NOT OK! When I was pregnant I actually felt self conscious about my rapidly changing body, and this was not helped by comments made by people who didn’t think before they spoke!

So I have been pregnant twice in my life, and yes I was huge by most peoples standards. However does being pregnant give people the right to make negative comments about my body? Or invade my personal space without invite? No it shouldn’t, but for some reason people think it’s fair game to say whatever they think when you’re pregnant.  These are a few things that were said to my during my two pregnancies by strangers or very loose acquaintances.

Pregnant Not OK to Say
I’m Pregnant but That’s Not OK to Say!

 

I’m Pregnant but That’s Not OK to Say!

  • Are you sure you’re not having twins? Yes I am sure, and so was the Doctor, midwife and 2 ultrasonographers, are you implying that I am larger than I should be?
  • How ARE you going to lose the weight after the baby is born? Do you think they are trying to tell me I’ve put on more than I should have? Do I go around asking people how they plan to loose weight, or how they plan to stop being utter imbeciles? NO, point made.
  • You are going to need some cream for those stretchmarks. I don’t know who trained her as a sales consultant, but to approach a pregnant women, invade her personal space and touch her bump, and then insult her! Well what a way to sell a product.
  • Your baby is going to be massive, ouch! Thanks for that, as a first time mum i’m not anxious at all about labour and child birth.
  • You wont make your due date. A complete stranger thinking it’s OK to imply that he thinks my baby will be premature, just because he thinks I’m too big for my dates.
  • Oh my god, you are enormous! Yes, someone actually said that to me. Well actually shouted it at me across a busy restaurant.  She was the bar maid of a pub I used to frequent. Needless to say I didn’t stay to chat.

 

Obviously I had some lovely comments too when I was pregnant, but isn’t it funny how the horrid ones just stick in our minds.  People really need to think before they speak, body shaming is unacceptable, pregnant or not!

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50 Comments

  1. Great list! One more:
    “Haven’t you had it yet…?”
    (Dumb question number 52.)
    Stock answer is:
    “Oh,yes. She’s at the minder’s. I’ve got bad post-baby wind, though.”

  2. So true so true! I had the odd ‘are you sure its not twins’ and ‘your baby is going to be really big’ and it was frustrating on a good day and incredibly upsetting on a bad day. We need a list of things that you should say to a pregnant lady ie. you’re looking well, pregnancy suits you etc – the world needs educating on this topic!!

    1. Yes I agree, perhaps that should be the next blog, nice positive uplifting things you can say to not only pregnant people, but everyone! I was always taught that if you have nothing nice to say you shouldn’t say anything, if everyone did that what a happier place this world would be! Thanks for your comment xx

  3. To be honest, I didn’t mind people telling me I was huge as I found it quite funny. I’ve always been small so suddenly looking like I had a beachball attached to my front was quite entertaining. I know a lot of people who said random people touched their bumps when they were pregnant, but to be honest I think this only happened to me once, so I guess I was lucky! #thelist

  4. I remember these comments and more! One I got all the time was “Was it planned?”. It wasn’t planned, and I suppose it’s a fair enough question as I was 19 and it was at a very inconvenient time, but still! It’s like people asking all about your sex life haha! Great post and I totally agree #KCACOLS

    1. Yes I didn’t include that one, and I got asked a few times. I think asking someone ‘was it planned?’ is quite personal, but again because you are pregnant people seem to have no boundaries! Thanks for popping by x

  5. Oh this used to drive me insane and I used to get all of the above, all of the time with the “good luck pushing that one out-ouch!” Yes, thanks for that lovely comment, really reassuring-not! #KCACOLS

  6. So true! I had a cleaner feel my bump at work – inappropriate! I also found i got sick of replying to the same questions so i try not to ask my pregnant friends the same ones! #KCACOLS

  7. I’m lucky & didn’t receive most of those comments. Taking about peoples stretch marks & weight loss after baby is wrong. I didn’t mind people saying I was big at the end it was just a reminder I was at the fimale hurdle. #kcacols lifeinthemumslane

  8. I agree – people feel like it’s okay to comment on a pregnant women’s body when it’s definitely not! I got a lot of comments on my ‘tidy bump’ – I know people meant it in a nice way, but I was worried that my baby was too small and I didn’t like people pointing it out. #KCACOLS

    1. Yes, whilst most of the comments I had was about how big I was, I had friends that were equally bombarded with comments relating to their smaller bumps that were as equally hurtful. X

  9. It’s terrible, but before I was pregnant I had no idea it was a bad thing to say these things. It all become very clear to me when it was me worrying about pushing out a baby elephant and trying to regain something like my original shape postpartum. Second time round I smiled and took it, then gave them evil looks when their backs were turned 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing with #KCACOLS and I hope you can link up again next week x

  10. I had all of these! I was at the checkout at Morrisons last pregnancy (and I was only about 7 months gone) and the asssistant said “Ohhh should you be out on your own now with it so close?” I mean, really! #KCACOLS

    1. That is very rude! I found it’s only in pregnancy though that complete strangers feel OK to be rude. Thanks for your comment x

  11. Oh yes, all the comments were the absolute worst part of being pregnant. And the comments got worse with each baby! When we announced number four was on the way everyone was SO RUDE. “Oh god, why didn’t you make your husband have a vasectomy?!” was probably the worst.
    After people got over the *shock* that we would dare to have a fourth child, all the comments on my size began. Someone asked if I was carrying triplets. I almost lost the plot!

  12. I always hated the touching of the bump without permission as well. Why do people suddenly think they have the right to touch you when you’re pregnant? Great post #TwinklyTuesday

    1. I know I have a real problem with people invading my personal space, especially when I was pregnant! Thanks for stopping by x

  13. Ha! It is totally crazy that people would actually say these things to a pregnant woman. I’m not a momma, but these would totally frustrate me. I’m sorry you’re dealing with these things!

  14. I hated this about both my pregnancies, I don’t know why people think it’s ok! No one ever comments on anything other than pregnancy either like ‘oh I like your hair like that’. X #twinklytuesday

  15. I remember those comments and I still get it now as I am pregnant with my third. Although I don’t mind people saying my bump is big but the other comments I don’t like.

    1. But there is a definitely a polite way to say your bump has grown, or look at you blossoming. Never have I wanted someone to shout across a restaurant to me at how massive I am! Thanks for your comment x

  16. Yes, those are really rude! I was extremely lucky (/hated) and I barely showed during both my pregnancies (my babies were small & I’m very tall so just got away with hiding it well). I was really grateful for that as I really hate awkward personal comments, random people touching me, or people making me feel like an invalid. I’m annoyed with people on your behalf! I can’t imagine why anyone would think size related comments are appropriate. #twinklytuesday
    Silly Mummy recently posted…The Pig Must Go Off (A ‘The Show Must Go On’ Parody)My Profile

  17. It’s like I wrote this list! I’m completely with you. I think it’s awful that people think that it’s okay to say things like this.
    Years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I was told that I should exercise more while pregnant, to give me a better chance of losing all the baby weight that I’d put on. ( I had put on 5 stone!)
    Some people can be so charming!
    Laura xx
    #KCACOLS
    Laura @ Dot Makes 4 recently posted…Hatch Cards: Greetings Cards and a Giveaway!My Profile

    1. I was very conscious about the weight I had put on, and concerned how I was going to lose it afterwards, but I didn’t need anyone reminding me, especially people I didn’t know! Thanks for your comment x

    1. I think sometimes people think they are being witty? But they are definately not, and its not even original any more. Thanks for stopping by x

  18. This is really bad!! How can people say those things to you!! I never really experienced anything like that when I was pregnant and I’m glad I didn’t otherwise I would have exploded to them!! People should only say something if they have something nice to tell you. It is just bad manners. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I’m happy to have your for the first time. I hope that you like it. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x
    A Moment with Franca recently posted…Sisterhood of the World Bloggers TagMy Profile

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